Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names

If you know Mandarin & Hokkien, you should be laughing in seconds .....

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names

Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty

Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet

Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks

Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead

Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs

Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death

Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum

Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow

Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt

Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin

Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long

Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother

Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings

Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before


[tags : delephant fun stuff ]

2007 Singapore's Oxford Dictionary - Add Ons

New Additions to Oxford Dictionary
- Singapore Edition


1) LILY - adverb. extremely, really.
"Wah, you lily can sing well ah!"


2) VALLEY - adverb. extremely (same with lily).
"Look! My Versachee belt, valley nice hor?"


3) GORGES - adj. stunningly beautiful, normally found with valley.
"Wah! Ah Beng's girlflan is valley gorges leh!"


4) CORAL - verb. to bicker.
"Why, you not happy, ah? Want to coral, is it?"


5) REEF - (normally followed with coral) to argue with.
"You lily wantto coral reef me ah?"


6) ALTITUDE - adjective. a disagreeable demeanour.
"Ah Lian lily got a bad altitude ploblem".


7) CIRRUS - adjective. certain.
"You cirrus or not? Dun bruff!"


8) CANOPY - phrase. impossible.
"He bought new handphone? Canopy lah! Where got money?"


9) OLDLADY - adjective. completed.
"Wah...you finish oldlady ah."


10) SUIT - verb. to project forward.
"Suit! Suit! See goalkeeper come out oldlady."


11) SOW - verb. to reveal.
"Sow me, sow me your new ting."


12) LOAD - noun. a path normally made up of gravel & tar.
"We go Orchard Load leh."


13) BLINK - verb. deliver, send.
"What you blink for me? Sow me, sow me."



[tags : delephant fun stuff]

Help ... Mouse Jammed in my Printer

Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.

Cust Service: What is wrong with it?

Caller: Mouse is jammed.

Cust Service: Mouse? And how it is related to printer?

Caller: Mmmm.. Wait, I will send a picture.

[tags : delephant fun stuff]

You Must Be In The Computer Industry If...

You Must Be In The Computer Industry If...

1. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 8 different managers.

2. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket or multiple photo copies in your briefcase .

3. When someone asks you what you do for a living, you lie.

4. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

5. Your biggest loss from a systems crash is that you lose your best jokes and pictures.

6. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

7. It's dark on your drive to and from work.

8. Fun is when "projects" are assigned to someone else.

9. Communication is something your "group" is having problems with.

10. You see a good-looking person and know it's a visitor.

11. They always seem to promote the least competent person in the group.

12. All real work is done prior to 9:00 am and after 5:00 pm.

13. You're already late on the assignment you just received.

14. Your boss's favorite lines are:a. "When you get a few minutes."b. "In your spare time"c. "I have an opportunity for you."

15. 50% of the people in your company do not know what you do.

16. 50% of the people in your company do not care what you do.

17. 50% of the people in your company do not know what they do.

18. The guy that used to sit next to you has left and gone back to hisoriginal job ' Brick laying ' as it pays more !

19. CHANGE IS THE NORM!

20. The new management staff always seem to come from some other industry other than a
related one .

21. Nepotism is encouraged.

22. You read this entire list AND UNDERSTAND IT!

[tags : delephant fun]

MISTAKES

MISTAKES

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style...

If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an accident...

If a doctor makes a mistake,
It's an operation...

If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture...

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation...

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law...

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention...

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion...

If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a new theory...

If our boss makes a mistake,
It is our mistake......

If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "MISTAKE"

[tags : delephant fun]

Sick In Church

A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

"Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"

"No," her mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

"Did you throw up?" Mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'"

[tags : delephant joke]

Lame : Doctor's Office

In the doctors office two patients are talking.

"You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake."

"A sponge!" exclaims the other. "And do you feel much pain"

"No pain at all," says the first, "but do I get thirsty!"

[tags : delephant lame]

CNN Blooper - Wireless Mic On in Toilet while Bush Giving Live Speech

This is so funny!!

The anchor for CNN “Live From” Ms Kyra Phillips transmited an open mike conversation while President George Bush was doing a Live speech in New Orleans.
Kyra’s wireless microphone was turned on and picked up about a minute and a half of a muffled conversation she had with an unidentified woman where she talked about her husband, laughed and talked about her brother.

“I’ve got to be protective of him,” she said without being aware that the mic was on. “He’s married, three kids, and his wife is just a control freak.” CNN anchor Daryn Kagan broke into the telecast immediately afterward updating viewers on what Bush had been saying.

WOW!! What a Blooper! Watch the Video below!




[tags : delephant fun cnn blooper]

Zidane Head Butting - revisited

Many of you may have seen the actual thing on TV during the World Cup finals of Zidane head butting Marco Materazzi.

But did you ensure that your satelite showed you the other versions of that shot?


As seen by the Germans :


















As seen by the French :

















As seen by the Italians :
























As seen by the Americans :























As reported by the press :


























Watch this re-edited Video of Zidane




[tags : delephant fun zidane video]

Check out Ms Universe doing the "Zidane"

Hmmm… looks like a lot of people have learn the traits and likes of our dear Zidane!

They must be taking lessons from the World Cup!!

This Video got emailed to me, check it out! Its really FUNNY!




[tags : delephant fun zidane ms universe]